Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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