i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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