So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
