thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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