Are we in a gay sports bar?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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