Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm like, not good at living.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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