the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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