yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
