he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
