he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
