forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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