What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
