Got a toothbrush?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
