So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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