How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
