How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize