apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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