He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
ok first of all what the fuck
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
