My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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