he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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