My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
