I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
