...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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