i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
