This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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