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If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
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