apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My vagina just clenched in fear
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