What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
