My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
