it wasn't lemon gatorade
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
