He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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