We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
