Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
