What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize