I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
