so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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