I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
