may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
