I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize