Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
