I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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