Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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