I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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