god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
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I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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