Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
