It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
