who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
