I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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