I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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