oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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