I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
