guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
A bitchslap is in order.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
