I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
