god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
