He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
