I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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