Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
