So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
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she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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