Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
