The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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